Scams exist in so many forms it is probably impossible to detail each. If you send her money then you have probably been scammed. It is that simple.

Don’t give money to someone you have not met.

Don’t give money to someone you have met. Even if you got engaged it is no surety she isnt scamming you as in my case. Don’t send money for weddings, dresses or anything else. Tell her you will come over and choose together. I heard of one man who sent $50,000USD to pay for the dress and wedding arrangements and he never heard from his bride again.

These are common emotional reasons used to ask for, or more commonly just hint at getting money. As men we have a natural tendency to help, and the manipulation of this tendency to provide and protect and our normal emotions is the ploy usually used. Hospital, being sick and medical costs, lost, stolen or broken phone, robbed, lost job, mother sick, father sick, brother, sister, cousin sick, fines, relatives had an accident, she had an accident, language school costs, mother died, father died, relative died, plane tickets, cant leave the airport till a fine is paid. Must have a certain amount to leave country (there is no such law), or enter another . She has been framed at work for theft, broke some machinery which she has to pay for, business is losing money, spent too much and is over stocked, or maybe just an extended period of bad luck ..on and on and on.

Buy the expensive engagement or wedding ring when you are back in your home country. Getting you to the engagement or wedding stage is a huge emotional hook. This is when they can ask for the most and you are most likely to succumb.

Letters that fall in love too quickly or unnaturally are usually written in one of the letter writing factories or agencies. End your communication as it isnt going anywhere no matter your attraction to ‘her’, as you are only talking to a photo. These letters express unreasonably excessive romantic ideals and feelings and are easily recognised as they are outside normal human behaviour.

Another powerful ‘hook’ is sexual content and this is prevalent on nearly all sites now. The first contact will offer you a private sexual revelation or suggestion. The formula starts with maybe a sexual concept, evolves into something suggestive then asks a question at the end eg, would you like to try that. Remember you are there for a wife, not a sex site. Some sites where this is prevalent is hotrussianbrides, mariya-club and veronikalove. The hook is to get you writing which is where they earn money. Ignore them because it isnt likely to happen. When in Odessa in January/February 2018 I answered numerous erotic letters and chat as an experiment and when they found out I was in Odessa and it was possible to meet, excuses were always made and contact was broken. You will realise once in Ukraine that 20 year old girls are not hitting on 50 year old men. Its a dream, a fantasy to get you to spend money, because it isnt about you or your feelings or what you are really looking for, it is about money. Its cold, calculating and surprisingly ruthless and we need to be able to accept that to be able to start making intelligent decisions. One of the biggest sites in the industry is a 140 million dollar + turn over company (2014), built largely on mens desires for a young bride which will never happen and is a contrivance manipulating our primitive base desires. I met my scammer there as have many other guys I have met. Like other sites it is very clever and even uses the psychology of colour to encourage spending. Notice where green (go) is used eg the payment buttons. Check their success story page…last time I looked it had been taken down. Previously of the millions they claim use their sites there was 2 marriages in the months I looked. Check every sites success story pages. Often they dont exist.

If you send her flowers or a gift she is usually called into the agency, a photo taken with the flowers and the message you sent and usually she doesnt get to keep them. As a cost comparison Anastasiadate will charge $160US for flowers which cost about 250uah or $9US at a local florist…and the girl has to give them back. There is no delivery, even though you are charged this.

In chat the profiles trick is to delay replying as long as possible so it costs you more. Often the reply makes little sense and you can go in circles trying to get any sort of answer. Mmmmm…is a popular response. Dont let her send many photos during chat. They are often sent under the guise of being erotic, but they are not and you are paying to view each one, even if you are not notified of this by the site.

If she is talking intelligently, personally, talking about details already shared in previous letters or chats and is serious in helping to arrange a meeting you might have a genuine person. Don’t take it for granted though. I got engaged after a 4 year conversation, 2 trips to Odessa, and numerous meetings costing many thousands of dollars. and had my heart ripped out and it took 18 months to recover. Five and a half years of my life lost and one of my most difficult life experiences. She got a little money and some jewellery. To them it is worth it. Don’t underestimate a Ukrainian womens motives and willingness to deceive. The worst part of that statement is it tars all Ukrainians with the same brush and there are obviously many good women there. I have experienced being looked in the eye and lied to. Didn’t think it was possible, but it is a reflection of the poverty and corrupt society they grew up in. It doesnt excuse their choices, but helps understand their enviromental influences which we dont usually have. Many in Ukraine are embarrassed by these girls choices.

Some are doing it to pay the electricity bill, some are in it for as much as they can get. Some experience shame and embarrasment quickly and others are cold and callous. A specialist in this industry told me most however eventually experience shame over what they did, money problems and usually remain poor. Most of us understand the idea of karma or cause and effect, even if we dont believe it.

If you are sending gifts the address you are given could be a derelict building, someone who has agreed courtesy of a payment to allow their address to be used, someones address who doesnt know it is being used, or in my case apartment 29 of a building that had 28 apartments. The postal service in Ukraine only requires ID evidence to pick up a parcel, not address evidence. I regret not paying to have a basic private investigation done. It could of saved so much. You can check the details provided in the report against what she has told you. I resisted the cost also thinking it was somehow mistrusting of me to do it. Its not your fault Ukraine and this industry is corrupt and we need to protect ourselves and I would of saved myself $1000’s and a broken heart. I recommend at least a basic check and at the time of writing $118US could be considered a very wise investment compared to the financial and emotional consequences many many men face. Its not just about mistrust, it may also confirm you are talking to the right person.

I recommend using for blacklisting dishonest girls as the site is searchable by everyone and has a good presentation. has a good data base and access to the site is free with registration, but is not searchable without being a paying member. To cancel your monthly membership charge requires contacting the site and waiting for a reply. A change in their recent emails showing new listings now dont even show the womens name and to get any information about her requires registering on the site or by listing someone which gives a brief free membership period.  Maybe list on both sites but make the priority so everyone has a fair chance to check for the dishonest. Also a google reverse image search wont show content from This is a fundamental limitation as we often begin our questioning by searching for her photos. Also take a few lines of her profile and do a search and it may reveal how many other sites she, or her agency, has her listed. Of course she may not be aware of these other listings, or being listed at all.

If she sends you photos use one of the reverse image search engines to do a search. For example, right click the image on site and save the photo to your computer. Use this link…. …click on the camera icon and upload the image. It will only take a moment and Google will search the internet. It is almost useless now so not finding another version of the image doesnt mean one doesnt exist. Finding it listed on numerous sites indicates it most likely isnt the girl in the profile, which is common.

Another way to check if she is genuine is to ask her if she minds if you can buy her personal contact info so you can communicate off site. Some sites have unreasonable levels of expenditure before this can happen eg and (used to be but I suspect the internet reviews were predominantly negative and the name change infers a different concept). Some women wont do it talking about trust because there are male predators and sex tourists who use these sites. Develop some trust or make it a condition of continuing to talk on site to eventually leave within a certain time frame eg 5-10 letters. There is no necessity to keep spending money on a site to develop a relationship. Think normal world.

Some sites dont even use the word marriage now to circumvent the requirements of IMBRA laws.

And because the sites have a distance between themselves and the agencies, culpability is difficult to prove particularly because they are international sites so where do you go for legal representation? There is a page on this site however to start legal proceedings with an English speaking lawyer in Odessa against a woman in Ukraine who has scammed you.

What is extremely difficult, is walking the very fine line of not tarring every woman and site with the same brush, whilst being open and cautious in a very corrupt industry.

You might like to consider the sites recommended on the site below. I can only vouch for a couple as that is all I tried as part of my investigation for this site. A basic or comprehensive report on a woman is also available. Think about the information you need and see what it might cost. It may pay to have certain points checked not covered in the basic report as these might be more likely to prove what she has told you is correct.

Background check on your Russian/Ukrainian girl, Internet friend or Potential Mate. is usually recommended as the safest site available in Ukraine. Dont be disappointed the 20 year old girls are unlikely to hit on a 50 year old man. Its the reality all the commentators on this industry are warning you about. Most of those girls are not on this site because of the quality checking done and they are mostly on the other sites for the income. Elena has some very valuable blogs.